near to you
by Stella Snapdragon
Summary: Psychology— science of behaviour and mental processes.  Love— an emotion of strong affection and personal attachment.  When you put it that way, love is just a part of psychology...but it's much more difficult than it seems.


Sometimes I wonder if I'd be better off at a "normal" college. I could just be quiet and do my work like a good little girl. I would get straight A's and have a proper curfew, let's say something like ten o'clock. I would have shoulder length blonde hair and a makeup free face. I would carry around a little pink purse and a white backpack. My clothes would always be neat and I'd always be polite. I would get enough sleep and not have a slightly major caffeine addiction. I wouldn't smoke and my body would be clean and pure—  
>Then I remember that I am not like that at all and I would most likely get kicked out of a "regular" college. I am quiet (though I do voice my opinions rather strongly), although I do do my work, it's not like a good little girl should. I don't have straight A's and most definitely no curfew. My hair is waist length and wavy blonde; I always wear eyeliner and mascara. I carry around a leather purse when I feel like it. I for sure don't get enough sleep and my caffeine addiction is getting out of hand. Yes, smoking is bad for you, yet I do it anyways. Oh and my body is not clean or pure.<br>I always knew college was going to be a thrill, I learned that over the last three years of getting a major in the arts. Now I'm going back to get a psychology degree. Wish me luck!

**near to you**  
><strong>chapter one<strong>

The music blares loudly through my speakers, taking me on a journey through my mind. I turn right onto the highway and crank the music up even louder. The song _Gold Lion_ by The Yeah Yeah Yeahs reminds of graduation night all those years ago.

I smile at the thoughts.

Basically, graduation night consisted of getting piss drunk with my two best friends, Roxas Yamagishi and Kairi Hiro. We drove around all night (don't drink and drive kiddies. Do as I say, not as I do.) egging teachers' houses and singing this song. It was kind of our "theme song". We were such goofballs.

But those times, like all good things, eventually came to an end. Roxas got pissed at Kairi and I for getting him drunk. His parents were furious and he almost lost his scholarship; we all went our separate ways. Roxas went to college in god-knows-where, majoring in heaven-knows-what. Kairi went to Destiny Islands University to be with her high school sweetheart, Sora Yamagishi(Roxas's brother). She's apparently majoring in design. Sora majored in...well, I'm not sure.

And then there's me.

I go to Oblivion University in Twilight Town. I went to Hollow Bastion School of the Arts to get my degree in painting and music—that took three long years. Now I'm going to Oblivion University to get a psychology degree—only because the human mind interests me. Call me a nerd or whatever but when I'm making the big bucks you'll be jealous!

I turn off the highway and onto a ramp going into the city, the city of Twilight Town. I was born here you know. I went to high school at Twilight Town High; my parents moved as soon as I graduated. I wouldn't be surprised if I saw any of my old teachers here.

I drive through the streets of the city, eventually reaching the large brass gates of Oblivion. I drive through and go to the student parking lot.

This is going to be one hell of a year...

* * *

><p>Something hits me in the back of the head. <em>Hard<em>. I turn around and glare in the general direction of where said object came from. I think it was a small rock...

"Hey!" Someone yells, popping up in front of me. I take my iPod headphones out and quirk my head to the side.

"Yes?" I ask.

"You look really familiar! Did you go to Twilight Town High?" The girl has short black hair and murky blue eyes. Her shirt is cut too low and her skirt is too short. Especially for this time of year. It's October and starting to get cold. It's been two months since school started and she couldn't have done this the first week or so because...?

"I did." I say simply. I'm not too big on talking if you haven't noticed yet. She looks me over before scowling.

"I knew you looked familiar, Namine Oshiro." She spits my name with venom. Umm...I don't think I know this girl but she seems to know me...weird.

"I don't believe I know you." I turn around, stuffing my iPod in my purse and making my way to my first period psychology class. I get about ten feet away before the girl catches up with me.

"I can't believe you don't remember me!" She shrieks. "Xion, Xion Jugo?" I stop for a second before resuming my walk to class.

"Oh, so you are." I say, glancing at her. She still looks the same. Still curvy, still promiscuous, and probably _still_ a slag. Xion Jugo's reputation in high school was the clichéd slut. She slept with nearly every guy and even some of the teachers. Head cheerleader (Twilight Town High didn't even have that many sports teams besides soccer), head nearly everything. Except in grades. I got her beat there, smirk. "I tend to forget things that don't matter."

I pick up my pace, leaving the girl in my dust. I walk as fast as I can to class.

I walk into the room and sit at an empty desk. The classroom is those arena type ones, you know with the rows of desks on an inclined stairway type thing. I pick an empty desk on the fifth step. Putting my bag down on the seat next to me, I take out my phone and check my e-mails. I have one from my mother.

**To:** BlondieLovesNature**  
>From:<strong> NaomiOshiro**  
>Subject:<strong> Family and friends gathering

Namine,  
>What do you plan on doing for Thanksgiving? I was thinking of having our family and another—Rin and I's friends—get together and have a huge dinner. It'll be so much fun!<br>How are you classes going? Are you doing okay in them? Have you made any friends yet? Be sure to keep your mother updated in your life!  
>Love,<br>Mom

..

I roll my eyes at my mother's e-mails. She's always wondering about my life. I thought I made it very clear that I didn't want her or Rin—my stepfather—snooping into my life. I enjoy privacy, thank you very much.

**To:** NaomiOshiro**  
>From:<strong> BlondieLovesNature**  
>Subject:<strong> I don't know.

I have no clue. A get together? It really depends on how much work I have to get done over the holiday. I'm sorry in advance if I can't make it, but it sounds like a blast.  
>My classes are going fine; I'm doing fine. I thought we agreed that you and Rin weren't going to get into my business?<br>I'll keep you posted if anything major happens.  
>—Namine<p>

I put my phone back into my purse and take out a notebook and pen. I title it: _Tuesday, October 25, 2011_. The professor, Xemnas, comes into the room at the same time someone taps me on the shoulder.

"Hn?" I grunt, letting them know they have my attention.

"Is this seat taken?" They ask, already moving my bag to the floor. I shrug. I don't care if they sit there as long as they don't bother me. Most likely someone I don't know(more reason to not care) since this class is so damn big.

The man plops down on the chair and takes out a notebook and pen like I did. We begin to copy down the notes on the projected board at the front of the class room while Xemnas does something in his lesson planner. Once I finish copying down the black words on the board, I take out my iPod and put the earbuds in my ears. I scroll through the songs until I find one that is calm and soothing for this early in the morning.

_**So the world goes round and round  
>with all you ever knew—<br>They say the sky high above  
>is Caribbean blue ...<strong>_

The song _Caribbean Blue_ by Enya floods my senses, making me feel even sleepier than I was before.

"Has everyone finished copying down the notes?" Xemnas roars so loud I can hear it over my music.

No one responds.

"Good. Now, today we will be discussing emotions..." I zone out for the rest of the lecture. It's all in the notes which I'll read later since I don't pay attention when I write them down. I listen to the rest of the song, watching Xemnas's mouth move and shape words that I can only slightly hear.

"Oshiro!" I rip the headphones out of my ears and stuff my iPod in my bag. I stand up in a hurry.

"Y-yes?" I ask, slightly startled by his sudden call of my name.

"You and your table mate, come down here."

I nod and walk down the stair-like steps to the front of the classroom. Xemnas stands in front of me and my partner, looking us over about three times each before saying anything.

"Oshiro, I want you to look at your partner and tell me what you feel when you do so." I turn to the man next to me and my jaw drops but I pick up straight away.

This is _impossible_.

Before me stands Roxas Yamagishi.

Roxas who was my best friend in high school and elementary school. Roxas who up and left to college without telling me or Kairi. Roxas who dated Xion (left that part out huh?) Roxas who I used to have the biggest crush on. Roxas who has gotten even more good looking.

Roxas's hair is still spiky and blonde like it has been his whole life. He's wearing a black button down and jeans. His bright blue eyes stare into mine with curiosity. My pale blue ones stare back in shock and mild annoyance or anger.

"I am completely indifferent." I say quietly. And I am. I haven't seen Roxas in three years and here he is standing in front of me! But I'm not going to let seeing him again make me forget how much it hurt when he left. Roxas's eyes change. Instead of curiosity, it's shock and confusion.

"Can you tell us why that is?" Xemnas presses, walking around us, looking at us from every angle.

"He means nothing to; I do not know him." I speak, breaking my gaze with Roxas. I look at Xemnas.

"Roxas, what do you feel?" Roxas opens his mouth and then closes it as if he can't find the right word for it.

"...confused." His voice is the same rumble it was in high school. I can't believe I didn't recognise it when he asked to sit by me.

"Why?" Oh Xemnas, you annoying old bat.

"Namine Oshiro?"

"Hello, Roxas." I smile at him and turn back to Xemnas to explain. "I used to know Roxas...that was long ago."

"You see here students!" Xemnas shouts loudly. "I am going to assign you a project today." A chorus of groans echoes through out the arena classroom. "You are going to partners with your table mate. I will assign you each an emotion. The goal of this assignment is to see if you can feel this emotion towards you partner. If you cannot, you fail."

"Sir!" A girl in the front row exclaims, standing up. She has brunette braids and is wearing khaki shorts and an orange top. "That's—you can't make us feel a feeling! Those are supposed to come naturally!"

"Olette," Xemnas speaks slowly as if he is addressing a child. "If you recall, on the course description sheet for this class I _clearly_ stated that in this room you are going to face your worst fears, and maybe develop some. I said that this course is going to bend your mind is ways you've never even thought it could. On that sheet it says you will experience psychology_ firsthand_, not out of some textbook, reading about other people. This is not a class for the weak—you are going to experience fear, hate, happiness, all of it! In order to do well in my class you must submit yourself to the projects and in this case, you must become that emotion to fully understand it. Are we clear, Miss Olette?"

Oh yeah, now I remember why I took this class. I wanted to see if I could handle it. The last project was on classical conditioning. We had to get to know everything about our partner and then classically condition them to like something or hate something. Thanks to that I now like peaches. It was a little strange. My partner was some girl named Larxene...she's kinda weird, but it all worked out in the end.

Roxas and I go back to our seats. I pack up all my things and wait for Xemnas to come around and give us our emotion. So far he's given: lust, hate, happiness, fear, anger, disappointment, envy, jealousy, dominance, submissiveness, and rage. For some reason he skipped our table and comes back to it last.

"I'm giving you the most challenging because you two are doing exceptionally well. I do expect the two of you, Roxas and Namine, to have a tough time with one. I want you to feel as if you are about to _break_, that is the only way you will be able to accomplish this. You must have trust, yet take caution. This is only a project, try not to think too much of it, yet, do. I give you _love_."

* * *

><p><strong>AN:<strong> Okay, so I know this was short...really short(4 pages in Pages)—but it's only to get the plot line going! Did it go too fast? I feel like it did...leave me a review telling me what I can make better and such! I've finally gotten back into the writing mood and guess what? Reviews make me write faster!  
>Toodles!<br>_**P.S- Read, Recommend, and Review!**_


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